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About Me

1. I am older than the Internet, so I refer to old-timey stuff like Gilligan’s Island, Luddites, and Kukla, Fran, and Ollie without regret or explanation, so keep your Wikipedia Mobile app open.

B. I’m not really good at lists, but I am fond of using [square brackets] instead of (parentheses). I blame this on Adult Swim.

✔ I have a love/hate relationship with most technology. I’m a technology-addicted Luddite who resents the objects of his addiction. You’ll pry my iPhone/tablet/laptop from my cold dead hand [unless I smash it against a wall first].

☛ Did I mention the touch of ADHD? [Squirrel!] I get excited by new tech quickly and then bored just as fast.

I’m not anti-social, but I am an introvert. That means that I’ll be way more social online than I’ll ever be in real life. I Tweet, use Facebook, and [much to my horror] even LOLcat from time to time.

I am prone to ironic t-shirts, coffee stains, and flip flops to showcase my freakish monkey feet. If I was younger, I would probably be a hipster doofus, but my big melon head prevents me from finding the requisite hat, and my age limits me to just being a doofus. I also think I’m funny. Others disagree. It hasn’t stopped me.

I’m rarely a first adopter of any technology unless someone else is buying. I’ll wait ’til they’re done with what passes for beta testing these days.

I am cheap, curmudgeonly, and I like a good word now and then. I cuss with great proficiency.

I will tolerate almost anyone who will play Scrabble with me, especially via phone app where I don’t actually have to be in the same room with him, her or it.

I used to smoke, and drink, and eat too much. I quit smoking.

I’m at the age where medical types always want to shove something in or draw something out, just to make sure I’m not some sort of zombie. Braiinnnss.

I’ve written a bunch of books, on technology mostly. Like everyone else, I’m writing a novel, and I hope to have it finished before print is officially dead. I love to read, but never seem to find/make the time anymore. I have to change that.

Kurt Vonnegut is my hero.

If you’re [un]lucky, with sharp eyes, you can spot my actor alter ego, Mason Carver, in several movies and TV shows that show up with frightening regularity on basic cable.

I love movies. Watching them, writing them, making them, and acting in them. I despise remakes and “reboots” and “reimaginings.”

I am pro free will, the first amendment, and privacy. Free speech means you’re allowed to say whatever you want, and I’m allowed to call you an asshole for it. You can call me whatever you like, too.


Have a personal-ish question? just ask. Hit me up on social media, or use the handy dandy Contact menu when I get around to fixing it.